Big Riggin' Baby

Well, I went Big Riggin' with Ben yesterday. We went down to Mexican Hat. It is a little town past Moab. It is the first time I have been with him in years. I kept having to pee, and I would say, "When is the next place we can stop so I can go to the bathroom?" and he would always say, "About 70 miles." Everywhere we were, it was about 70 miles until we could stop. It was kinda fun at first, but once it got dark, it was kinda boring. I kept asking how much longer, and I guess I was asking a lot, because he finally said, "Don't ask me again until midnight. I said I thought we would be there around midnight, so ask again at midnight." He gave me some gum so I could blow bubbles, and he had the nerve to fart and get fart air on my gum. RUDE. Around 11 he said I could just go back and get in bed if I wanted, so I did. It was so bouncy, I felt like a lottery ball bouncing around on a piece of poster board. But I didn't say anything, because I try not to bitch in his office. In the words of Lloyd Christmas, "Some people just aren't cut out for life on the road." And that would be me.

On the way home, we took pictures, (all with a cell phone) and stopped at Hole in the Rock. We had fun. Maybe in another 5 years I'll go again, if he invites me!

Mexican Goodness

My friend Jerri called the other day and told me she was sending a Mexican treat to me that would change my life. Now I'm thinking, fried ice cream with some caramel that's on fire or something, right?
Kyler comes in and throws a paper towel at me. It was all nice and warm and I was like "YESSS, come to me Mexican goodness!" and I open it and inside was a home made tortilla with fired bologna in it. WTF??? I have been giving her crap about eating this for years, and she kept threatening to make some for me to try. Well, apparently that day was my lucky day.
Blake and Kyler were watching me over the back of the couch as I stared at this foreign concoction. I took a bite, and Blake goes, "Those tacos are good huh?" and surprisingly I said, "Ya, they're not that bad." Griff had a bite and wanted to go get one of his own. Ben tasted it and said, "That's pretty good. Who made it? What is it?"
Me:"Jerri"
Ben:"Holy shit, is that fried bologna?"

For my Grandma Babe's birthday me, Blake, Brittni, Caleb, Ashley, my Mom, Sandra, Babe, Brynlee, Dallin, Keri, and Karla all went to lunch at the Coppermill in Logan. After everyone got all settled and nobody was in the sun, being bugged by the fan, arranging tables, turning the music down, turning the fan on, turning the fan off, and finding sun glasses to wear through lunch, it actually turned out to be an ok little outing. We went to the Wight House (I got nothing), Hallmark (Blake soaked me for another Webkinz, and Griff got one too. I got a coffee mug, which was kinda dumb since I don't drink coffee, but this mug is so awesome that I might start), and then Sugar and Spice.

When I got back from Logan, I went to hang out with some of my friends in Tree-town. We played Guitar Hero, and had pizza, and I made my Summer 08 drink. They thought it would be hilarious to have me sit in a swing that didn't have a bottom. It was. Those BITCHES!

Dream On, ah, Dream Unitl Your Dreams Come True

I had a dream last night that when you went somewhere and bought something, the person that was checking you out balanced your checkbook. How awesome would that be? I HATE writing things down in my register that I use my debit card for. Those of you who have seen my purse know what I'm talking about. If that were true, then people would really know how much time I spend in my overdraft! Tee-Hee! But who cares. If I had someone to balance my checkbook, I'd die a happy girl.

Ben went to the dunes this weekend and he wrecked and got a pretty bad concussion. Thankfully he is ok. He has just been taking it easy for the last few days. I feel like Gabby Soliece.

I went to the big city on Sunday to go to breakfast for my Aunt Sandra's birthday. After, me, Brittni, Sandra, and Amber hit the Nordstrom sale. It was fun shopping. There was a shirt in Buckle that I wanted and I picked it up and it cost $175. So, alas, I didn't get it. I did get a cute hat and a new clutch. Fancy, I know. I also got a bunch of good deals on t-shirts for the kids.

The free gift from Lancome is a story that is going down in the books.

Am I Bad?

We were at Ross a couple days ago, and Griffen was picking out black and skull shirts and that's it. I told him some black and some skulls, but not all. He comes up to me with a black shirt, and a bunch of ghetto skeleton people sitting around a table that had a bunch of money on it. The money was glittery gold, and across the bottom of the shirt it said "Cash Money". I was like no. But nice try. So he was all bent about it and wanted to know why and before I could even think what I was saying I said, "Because it's too Mexican!" Now, I'm not racist, but it is what it is. The same as Polo is too preppy, Jeff Foxworthy is white trash, and Power Ranger shirts would get his ass kicked. It is what it is.

Squints!

There was a lifeguard at the pool today that I seriously thought about going "Squints" for. I thought about it for about 10 minutes, but I couldn't think how I could convincingly drown in 3 feet of water. Plus it would suck to be banned from the pool forever. FOR-EV-ER!

No Sleep Till......

I CAN'T SLEEP! I freakin hate it when this happens. This has been going on for about 4 days. Last night I was so tired, and I laid in bed for about an hour listening to the squeak of the ceiling fan. I decided to shut the fan off and suffer the consequences. It doesn't help matters that Blake gets in bed with us all the time, not to mention his little sleepwalking problem. I put him back in his own bed 3 times before I was like screw it, and just let him sleep with us. I think I'm driving Ben nuts. He told me to go take a pill, but I couldn't because I didn't have a full 8 hours to devote to a full nights rest. It sucks.

BEDAZZLED

Can I just plea with everyone out there who knows a woman in her 60-mid 70's, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! Tell her it's time to start dressing for her age, and stop looking like a crack whore BeDazzled her wardrobe. I know these women are out there. Let's all try to make the world a better place.

POISON

Ben and I went to Poison on the 3rd. I know I said I thought Brett was kinda piggy after watching Rock of Love 1 and 2, but I gotta tell ya, he is still totally shagadellic!

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

A couple weekends ago, I jammed my wrist riding my 4-wheeler. The day after I was enjoying a Percocet coma and Blake started screaming and crying like he was being beaten to death. Ben went down to see what was going on. Griff was cracking up at Blake, which led Ben to believe Griffen was involved somehow.

Ben was like, "What's the matter!?!" and Blake goes, "A medium sized spider touched my face and my knee!" So that made Ben crack up. I went down to see what was so funny and Blake was wigging out like he had creepy, crawlies, all over his body. It was pretty funny. Then he would be still, then he would wig out again.

I think instead of playing video games with Kyler, they are doing LSD in the garage.

Blake has this cutsie little way of talikng. Most of the stuff you can under stand, but when you can't it takes some effort to stop and think about what he has said.

Griffen has been big into Bruce Almighty lately and there is one part on the show when Bruce says, "I'm Bruce Noland Chanel 7, back to you Fuckers!!" Now, I forgot that was on the show, and of course it's one of Griff's favorite parts. We are all big movie quoters in our family, so when he quotes this part he says "Frickers". I'm not really a big fan of that either, but whatever.

When Blake says it, it sounds like he's saying the real thing, so I had to ban that quote. But, despite my best efforts it still slips out every now and then. Blake said it the other day and I said, "Blake, if you say that again, I'll have to wash your mouth out with soap." and he said, "I like havin' my mouth washed out with soap."

It's a good thing he's so cute.

OH, Church!

We were rushing out the door this morning to get to church, and we couldn't find Blake anywhere. I start backing out of the garage, and here he comes all sad out the door. Griff said, "Dude, what are you doing? We have to go!" and Blake said, "I was lookin' for my ipod cuz there's nothin to do at church!"

I'm Not Even Wearing a Hat

Yesterday I took the kids and my brothers to Lagoon. My aunt Sandra told me the worst story about a boy who was on a roller coaster and lost his hat. After he got off the ride he climbed through all the fences marked "DO NOT ENTER" and "DANGER" to get it. He was in with the roller coaster and the car decapitated him. I know. Terrible.

So we're driving to Lagoon and I'm telling everyone this story so that the same thing wouldn't happen to any of them. I always tell my kids stuff like this. Maybe it's gruesome, but I would rather them be aware of what could happen, then not know and get their heads cut off.

After I told the story, I said, "So, don't ever do anything like that, OK?" and Blake said "But I'm not even wearing a hat!"